Me as Me

There are going to be changes around here.

I'm done, done with trying so hard to be a friend and completely forgetting who I really am. I try I really do but things come up. Here goes something.

Who am I to act like I have known my church friends for as long as they have known each other. I sometimes don't like school and I guess that it is my way to escape from it. I'm so focused on being a friend that I don't know what to do or say. I need to stop living in my own little world where everything is fine, welcome to reality. I need to stop trying to be someone I'm not. God loves me for who i am. How can I be so stupid. I admit at times I can be way to hard on myself and sensitive too. And I can't believe how many stupid times of the day all i think about is myself. All I probably think about is myself. I don't like it and definitely need to work on it more that I do. But hey that's life. I also need to forget about the past and forgive those who wronged me back at Calvary. I made a mistake we all do at times. But here's the deal, from now on I won't be blogging about things other people blogged about. It was stupid to do that in the first place. And I am going to just be myself, no one else.

If any of my HSM friends are reading this I want to say a few things. To start with is that I very, very, very sorry. I just want you guys to be my friends. You guys are so great. Evey word I said here is true. I know you guys have known each other for years and I guess I wanted to be apart of that. But I was wrong to do that. You guys have been great to me for the past few months and I thank you for that. I had a hard year at Calvary and hope you can understand. But also keep in mind that I only get to see you guys once a week and I'm you know, excited.

And for all you guys at FHS take note on this. It's like I said from now on I am going to just be myself. If you don't like that then well, never mind. Let's just say I want people to like me for who I am.

I leave you with this poem called Me as me.

I try and try again

So hard I forget who I am

I just want to be liked for who I am

Not as who I've been

I need to be true to myself and not miss a chance

And remember to dance

With God because He loves me for me

Someday I will be with someone who loves me as me

But for now that can wait

Because It's not to late

To start from the beginning

And hope for a better ending

One filled with love, joy, and laughter

And live happily ever after.

P.S. Hope I didn't offend anyone.

P.P.S. I don't even know what the picture has to do with any of this. It is the CD cover for a song I have in my iPod. But you have to admit, it's a col picture.